Special occasion birthday

Well I know you left the best for last. I'd like to make a toast to my neighbor and friend who has never changed. Now of course you have gained some few pounds but who's counting? Not to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school. But today is not about me, it's about you, although I actually wished you wore something prettier. Today is also about wishing you a happy birthday but what's with the family reunion? I mean we should be partying right now!Anyway, last night I remembered all those funny times we spent together, like when we both really wanted the same guy, and he ended up being my prom date! Or when my tongue accidentally slipped and told your parents you had a tattoo! You went crazy at that time, but come on isn't it funny now? Cheers to all the funny moments to come! But most importantly, try to enjoy the present and do not worry about the fact that you're one step closer to the grave. Hopefully, your life will be as cool as mine some day. Don't worry, it is not a shame to marry at an old age, or even die single. I'll definitely supply you with as many cats as you want, or you can live with me and my future millionaire husband in our villa. I have plenty of advice to give you on your 21st birthday. First, lay down the fast food, it wouldn't get you closer to marriage. Second, make sure to stay confident no matter what; not everyone Is perfect. Finally, I know maybe the only thing you beat me at Is grades. But let's face It; I'm Just too cool for school.So, study well because someday I will need a plastic surgeon to fix everything that has shrunk. You probably got a lot of nice gifts and everything, but I got you a precious gift that is extremely valuable and I want you to use It with great care and precision. I really hope you like It. You know I'm all about helping you and being by your side so I'm sure It will help you attract Mohammad All and maybe get rid of that bad breath. Who knows, that might have been what's taking him so long to pop the question. Happy birthday childhood friend!